Just Shoot Me.....

I've been labouring under a really freaking big misapprehension for all of my life.

I thought I was strong - lol

I thought I could deal with anything and everything life could throw at me - now I know better.

I have carried and delivered three kids - and brought the little darlings up - a complete doddle compared to what I have done in the last 5 weeks. There's still one more week to go.

5 Treatments
30 Chemo tablets
9+ days of constant fatigue
9+ days of constant nausea
9+ days of constant cramping
14+ days of very bad 'sun burn'

not to mention the whole toileting thing.

I feel like that flayed creature under the train station bench in the final Harry Potter book.

After a major meltdown last weekend where I swore I wasn't continuing with treatment - it didn't help I was weening myself off opioids - I determined I will finish my treatment - I hope it's all been worth the effort.

I look at the chemo tablets every morning and heave - I know I am poisoning my body to make it better.
I pray to all the presiding deities and the universe that I never have to do this again.


 As long as there is mashed potatoes and gravy I shall survive!!